Beginners, DD/lg

21 First Steps for Daddy Dom & little girl Beginners

dd/lg for beginners

Starting out with a new DD/lg lifestyle can be a little frightening and very exciting. It can also be easy to shy away from the hard parts, and jump head-first into the “fun” parts. Often, feelings and boundaries are overlooked by the sparkle (and “newness”) of a DD/lg relationship. Time has a way of catching up with us; and when it does, all of those feelings and broken boundaries will come into question (either by you, or your partner). It is really important to take a step back and get a really good look at what you are committing to. Once you are fully aware of what it is that you are wanting, you will then want to step slowly into the changes; taking time to question and evaluate how you feel about what is happening. Discover who you are in this new role, and enjoy the journey. No one is going to be a perfect little or perfect Daddy Dom on the first day; or the hundredth; or the one-thousandth. Even the most experienced Dom will tell you that He is still learning and discovering new ways to be better. No one is perfect, and the only way to be a good little or Dominant is to learn, and be willing to grow every day.

We’re asked all the time about advice for beginners. i love this question, because it means Daddy Doms and little girls are working on themselves. Here are our top 21 first steps we would recommend to any new beginners in the DD/lg lifestyle:

  1. Read books, blogs, and forums. Learn as much information as you can about this lifestyle.
  2. Talk with people who are in the lifestyle, and ask a lot of questions.
  3. Start a journal of your journey personally, or together as a couple.
  4. Establish rules and boundaries. It is important to remember that these boundaries can change and evolve over time, and with experience, in all of these new areas.
  5. Set up weekly meetings with your partner to discuss how things are going, and whether or not changes need to be made.
  6. Decide how much “power” the Daddy Dom holds over the little. Such as: certain areas, most areas, or total power exchange (TPE).
  7. Decide if this new lifestyle is going to be 24/7, only in the bedroom, or specific times and dates.
  8. Date each other!!! Even if you have been married or together for years, it is important to remember that you are both discovering who you are. Dating is the best way to explore that side of yourselves together.
  9. Plan fun, little-friendly activities. Such as: coloring, playing with toys, watching cartoons, or whatever else helps to bring your little side out.
  10. Be 100% open and honest, 100% of the time. This type of relationship is fundamentally built on trust. Without trust at its foundation, the relationship cannot operate the way it was intended to.
  11. Explore sexual kinks together. Whether it’s role-play, bondage, or any number of things; showing this side of yourself to each other builds intimacy and trust.
  12. Decide how open you want to be about your new lifestyle. Is this going to be private between the two of you? Private between the two of you, and a blog? Only close friends and/or family? Out and proud? There is no wrong answer. Every couple is different on who/when/why they want to share this side of themselves. Knowing this information can save you from some very awkward and hurtful moments for sharing with someone that your partner isn’t comfortable sharing with.
  13. Make a daily goal chart for your little. You can make make this as cute, fun, serious or to-the-point as you like. Having this chart will give your little a step-by-step list of ways to please her Daddy. And littles love pleasing their Daddies!
  14. Start a hobby together. Doing this will give you both things to talk about, and will provide something to do together to bond you closer. Some good ideas include: learning an instrument, learning to cook, exercise and fitness, watching a television series, ballroom dancing, etc.
  15. Be patient with each other. Remember, this is new for both of you. You will both undoubtedly make mistakes. Having patience and cheering for the other will motivate both of you to work harder.
  16. Talk about and establish punishments. Once they are decided and agreed upon, always remember to follow through. Establishing and following through with punishments will help the power dynamic stay strong for both parties.
  17. Learn the power of Love and Respect. The basic idea is that every little girl needs to be loved, and every Daddy Dom needs to be respected. If the little is being disrespectful, then the Daddy becomes unloving and hurt. If the Daddy is being unloving, then the little becomes disrespectful and hurt. So you can either be on the unloving/disrespectful circle…or on the love/respect circle. The latter works extremely well for us.
  18. Make goals for your newfound DD/lg relationship. Set a one week goal, a month goal, a year goal, and a five year goal. Talking about and planning for a future will help show your commitment to the other.
  19. Play with each other (haha not that kind, but it’s highly recommended as well). Build blanket forts, go to the park, share a milkshake or sundae at a diner, have tickle fights, etc. Laughing is so important, and vital in bonding and opening up with each other.
  20. Speaking of playing with each other…have sex. Have a LOT of sex! Having a healthy sexual relationship will keep your butterflies fluttering in your tummy like they belong. Being wanted by another is a huge confidence boost for anyone. Your partner needs to feel wanted by you! (This is for sexual DD/lg relationships. There is nothing wrong with being a non-sexual DD/lg couple, as long as both parties are on-board.)
  21. Have FUN!!!! Take your time and enjoy this new phase of your life!

Please leave any thoughts or ideas of what you think are great first steps for beginners. We love to hear what our readers have to say! xoxo

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34 thoughts on “21 First Steps for Daddy Dom & little girl Beginners”

  1. NBB says:

    I am starting out in this lifestyle. I’ve always known myself to be someone who cares deeply for his partner but never heard of this lifestyle. I met a great woman and she is in this lifestyle and without telling me she read me and figured it out.

    Now, I’m fumbling through the dark and she sent me this post and few others from your blog. I am very impressed with the beginners list. So thank you.

    However, without being a disappointing Daddy to my Babygirl, what can I do since she is experienced and I am not?

    By no means has she shown me any dislike in this and has actually helped me grow but your comment resonates with me highly about “growing” each and everyday. I want that for her sake as I want to be her Daddy for life.

    Please help me in understanding. I will not reach outside to others for help as I have not spoken to her about doing that. I have a mountain of information to get through and only so much time. Where do I start?

    Understanding the lifestyle?
    The list goes on…I am just confused with the mountain and not sure where to start climbing.

    Help in any way is appreciated.


    1. Daddy's princess says:

      Best advice i can give is… RELAX! The fact that You read the post and are trying to be better already speaks volumes to Your natural Daddy abilities. Take the time to experiment, have open communication, and have fun!

      1. NewDD says:

        Hi there. So I have a few questions myself. My little and I have been going through a super rough time lately. I am trying to learn how to balance it all. I know we are having issues with communication. She hasn’t been in little space for some time now and she says it’s cause her emotions are all over the place. That I was almost suffocating her. I have since backed off and now I’m a bit gun shy. Any way you could help me understand so I can have my Pretty Princess back.

  2. Elena says:

    Thankyou for.this thoughtful article. I told Daddy I wanted to go 24/7 on Friday and he agreed, but we are having issues with launching our relationship, as it were. We will be out and not. I am legally changing my name (first, I changed my surname after I married him!) and adopting Elena, the name I use in the BDSM community. To anyone unawares it is simply a name I like. My family know what we do, although we don’t discuss the sex or bondage part with them, of course. They have actually been pretty awesome about me calling my husband Daddy and about me changing my name. We haven’t had the same conversation with my father-in-law as he is far less accepting.

    In DDLG and being a little I found my true self. It is bizarre. I found a way I could be creative, fun, giggly and cute and it didn’t seem immature. Last night I was sat at Daddy’s feet with an old archive box and I told him I wanted to colour it and make it my craft box. I now have a craft box adorned in multi coloured writing, masses of glitter and foam hearts!

    I am probably an older little, Daddy puts me at around 10 with some stubborn elements around 13 or so. I get moments when a I demand, or it slips put and I call Daddy something bad. I also have a daily task list si that, like you mentioned. I can strive towards pleasing Daddy. At the moment it includes a daily clue for something as we do a scavenger clue advent, and Daddy has found making me wait for my list (he writes it on the bus to work each morning) is a great way to teach his little about patience – and it works!

    I love your website. It has been a great resource for Daddy and I to overcome some of our more contentious issues, so thankyou. I will be showing Daddy this page later as we take the next step towards our 24/7 dynamic.

    Thanks again.

    Elena xx

    1. Daddy Dom says:

      So glad it has helped you! We’re very happy for you both.

  3. Newgirl says:

    i just wanted to say that last night was my first night talking about this to my Daddy. i was so nervous to tell Him! Daddy so smart and kind to me! He new His baby was nervous and wanted to tell Him something, but was scared/nervous. Daddy turned me over wrapped Himself over me like he was my blanki and told me to talk to Him. After Daddy help me feel safe. i told Him i believe i was a little He didn’t know what i was talking about at first, but once i told Him a little more not to much as it was way way way past bedtime (can you see were ill be a trouble little the most! ?) but He then gave me some kisses and whisper to me is my little girl happy? Before He finally passed out still covering me like a blanki! So long story short! i had my first experience with being a little and having a Daddy i am so happy to start this we have a lot to learn!

    1. Daddy's princess says:

      Newgirl, welcome to our blog! i love hearing about new couples discovering DD/lg! Congrats and i am super happy your Daddy was so amazing and provided exactly what you needed!

  4. newlyfound says:

    Hello, i have read a few of your blogs and must say, very insightful. i recently met this man and really like Him. Few days into getting to know each other He told me He wanted us to venture into a DD/lg relationship. Not knowing what that meant, i came online searching for answers. i started reading your blogs and voila! i’m learning so much and implementing a few jnto our daily lifestyle. He’s very pleased and i very happy. We live countries apart, but dating is turning out great as we’re both learning much about each other. i’m very thankful for your blogs and will continue to read, learn, and grow with my Daddy.
    P.S. i learnt from one of your blogs about writing with respects to Him as Daddy and acknowledgment to myself as his little girl and loved the idea; so did He.

    1. Daddy Dom says:

      That’s awesome! So happy for you both 🙂

  5. Alittlelost says:

    I just now found out about DDlg relationships. I followed the plushies on Pinterest to someone’s little space board and was mind blown! I have always kind of kept in the back of my mind the phrase “Grow up!” Or “Stop acting that way, you are a mother!” It was an eye opening experience to see that I’m not alone. Then I started googling and came across your blog. I love it. Thank you so much for your posts. I have no idea how to approach my husband about a DDlg relationship but it won’t be that big of a jump from what we already are like around the house. At least I dont think it will be. He kind of already encourages my inner little. I hope I can bring out his inner Daddy. But any advice on how to approach the subject with him would be soooo so appreciated…maybe? Please?

  6. pete says:

    hi,I have been a daddy for 20 years and didnt even know it until I saw this place.I talked to my new found little about this last night and she looked up dd/lg on google as we went to bed she asked me for some presents to make his little girl happy …we will be reading and posting from now on thanks guys

    1. Daddy's princess says:

      Welcome!! xoxo

  7. Michael Cantrell says:

    Great article! New Daddy, old relationship. My little (wife) actually approached me on this topic this morning. We have entered a new space, in our relationship, of trust. In the past two weeks we have been more honest than the whole six years we have been together. This wasn’t intentional dishonesty with the intent to harm each other. It was dishonesty when it comes to self happiness and awareness vs social norms. It has been a rollercoaster ride these past few weeks, let me tell ya. But once she spoke to me about this and showed me things to read (because she was bad and got up way to early to play on the computer) it fits our relationship perfectly. We have needed this as a structure for a long time. We are in demo mode of course, trying to find out what works for us. One thing is for sure DD/Lg is a beautiful thing and more people should be open and aware of it. Every person is different. I love life. Again, thank you for the great article.

    1. Daddy's princess says:

      Welcome to Cumming Without Permission! We love hearing from our readers! xoxo

  8. Lana says:

    I wished my life could incorporate this lifestyle. My guy is not into these things. I read these blogs which help release a bit of tension I have since I am unable to practice this lifestyle. I crave for the close attention a little receives. I long for the touch of my DD after he has scolded me, whispering that everything would be ok. (Sigh)
    Thanks for having a place I could vent to.

    1. Daddy's princess says:

      oh 🙁 i am so sorry that you are in that situation. Is there any way that you could ask your guy to role-play in the bedroom just once or if you have and it wasn’t his favorite, then maybe a couple times a month just for you. Every person in a relationship needs to compromise, to maintain a healthy balance in order for two completely different people to cohabitate.

      Worse case check out Being little Without A Daddy Dom to get some ideas to help when/if he cannot. Please let us know if this helps! xoxo

  9. Mikeysdoll says:

    Hi I’m all new to this and these articles help so much I am so excited at the new lifestyle my partner and I have chosen and would love any advice or suggestions thankyou

    1. Big EZ says:

      Ok for a beginner Daddy Dom it may be a bit difficult but you have to be firm in consequences and follow through. No one wants a Little Brat. Make a schedule with play time, chore time and free time. Always make sure you reward your little for positive behavior.

    2. Daddy's princess says:

      OMG!!! HI! 🙂

      i love hearing when new couples find DD/lg!!!! i have honestly never been happier than when i discovered and started living 24/7 DD/lg, even with all of the struggles, tears, laughter, and self discovery. i hope you guys find your true happy spot as well! xoxo

  10. Victoria says:

    So I started dating about a month ago and well to say the least I am actually happy with the person I’m with but only one issue my friends think he’s to controlling we have a DD/lg relationship and I don’t get to really act like a little I wanna show my daddy that I’m the best little ever but I don’t know how. My daddy also gets mad very easy so if I do something wrong he doesn’t punish me the why he should what should I do to make our DD/lg relationship stronger?

  11. Princess Kat says:

    So I started dating about a month ago and well to say the least I am actually happy with the person I’m with but only one issue my friends think he’s to controlling we have a DD/lg relationship and I don’t get to really act like a little I wanna show my daddy that I’m the best little ever but I don’t know how. My daddy also gets mad very easy so if I do something wrong he doesn’t punish me the why he should what should I do to make our DD/lg relationship stronger?

  12. LittleDarkAngel says:

    Hi, new to DDLG community. My Daddy is married and so am I. I’m separated from my ex. My Daddy says he is as well but I’m not fully sure I believe him. He is also into stranger kinks…he wants me to send pictures and videos of myself going to the bathroom, he also wants to role play rape as well as interact in Blood play….I’m kind of freaked out as well as scared. I want to be a good little and make my Daddy happy but with these other issues I’m scared out of my mind!!! Please help!

    1. Daddy Dom says:

      Welcome to our site!

      Absolutely, unquestionably, 100%…draw your line. You’re entitled to set boundaries for your kinks (and relationship) just as much as he is. If he cares, the fact that this matters to you should very much matter to him. Crossing these boundaries is abuse.

      I would recommend taking time for yourself to determine your own boundaries and safety levels. Don’t be afraid to disappoint him with your boundaries. The number one person who is affected by your boundaries…is you. We care about you, so you should care about you too!

  13. New little k says:

    Thanks for this! I’m new into this, a DD I was friends with figured out I’d be a great fit for this & after talking with him & reading this I agree.. but, how do I find a Daddy? I felt too embarrassed to ask my friend who already has a little…

  14. Princess j says:

    I’ve recently identified as a little and love coming to this site and learning so much about the lifestyle I want to live. I’m in an unusual situation where I was in a relationship with an amazing man for over three years who has recently identified as a Daddy Dom, but only after we broke up in January. It was during our separation that He learned His purpose in life and embarked on learning how to become a Dom – this involved being mentored by an experienced Dom and taking on an experienced sub for training purposes. When He told me the situation He was in, I was excited at first and then after several weeks realised I was jealous, as it was exactly the kind of relationship I needed and wanted with Him, and also that the lack of those dynamics in our previous relationship was probably one of the reasons for our separation. It took some time for me to adjust to His newfound lifestyle, and even though it was difficult (as I also fell in love with Him during this time), I was genuinely happy for Him, that He was able to now express a part of His being that had been unwittingly supressed for so long. Over the last few months of discussing our like-mindedness and genuine desire and need to participate in a DD/lg lifestyle, we have become very close again, even closer than we were before, and have found a new and deeper understanding of each other and our respective needs. He has recently ended His agreement with His former sub, not on my account, and has initiated a period of me undertaking tasks such as writing a Submissive’s Statement, listing my hard limits, and determining what my safewords would be. He has also written a statement for me expressing what His needs, requirements and expectations would be as my Dom. I am excited that I may soon have a Daddy Dom, as I know I’ve been a lonely and scared little for far too long. My only concern now is how I will be able to transition from being His ex-partner (where we were on a fairly even keel as far as decision-making and “control” in the relationship was concerned), to being His submissive and giving Him absolute authority over me, while simultaneously going through a reconciliation of our former relationship. I love Him dearly and totally trust Him to care for me and have my interests in His mind and at heart at all times – I’m just worried that I will have difficulty relinquishing the relationship equality I once had and fear it will disappoint Him if I can’t do it immediately. I know that I need to give Him total submission for this to work and for both our needs to be met, so it’s important for me to learn how to achieve it. Any tips?

  15. Brookie says:

    Uh … Hi i have a few questions see ive been a little for three years now and could never find a daddy or care giver who has well been an actual caregiver or daddy but im dating this guy and i really really like him shoot i think love at this point but he diesnt now about ddlg or anything he likes kinks and stuff like bdsm but not about littles and doms and he’s not really a dom little me has little attraction to him but big me … Well loves him but i havent gotten to be little since dating him i feel trapped so i really want him to be my daddy but… I dont know if he would like it or even want to do it

    Please send advice

  16. Melchiah xander says:

    Very helpful. Thank you

  17. Marley says:

    Me and my daddy are just starting out, it’s the first time either of us have been in a committed ddlg relationship etc.

    He is really horny all the time and I’m finding it really hard to keep up with as he punishes me if I don’t do what he wants because that’s naughty. I love having sex with him and all that fun stuff but sometimes I just wanna be little and watch movies with him. We can’t even cuddle without him wanting to touch me and he apologises for it even though I haven’t said anything, I think he can see I get upset sometimes.
    It makes me want to avoid little space because I don’t want to have to have sex all the time, I’m really confused ahh sorry!

  18. Babygirl says:

    I’m new to this. My daddy is 38 where as I am 22. I don’t want to disappoint him but that’s all I do. He tells me to read about it. It everything I read it talks about setting rules and we have never done that. He doesn’t think I can handle this type of relationship. I don’t want to lose him or anything. He means so much to me but I don’t know what to do. Any advice will help.

  19. Sarah says:

    I am fixing to jump into this with a great man who will be my nervous and have many questions..bit very excited to start this journey and want to be the best baby girl ever..any advice is greatly appreciated?!

  20. Rexydon says:

    I am new to this lifestyle (have not even tried to get into it but a few people I have talked with said what I am looking for is this and after some research I think they are right.) I was giving this list to read and I found it very inspirational.

    My question is here and the other sites I was recommended to read all mentioned punishment and how it should be done…. just how important is it? I don’t like the idea of hurting my SO especially when it is not in a manner they do not like.

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