Let’s be honest, a majority of the DD/lg and D/s community prefers to be discreet and live their kinks privately. Whether it’s out of fear of family and peer rejection, or the fear of your professional life being compromised, each person has their reasons, and i am NOT here to judge you. Being a 24/7 DD/lg D/s couple, who also work in a highly-competitive professional field, it is important for us to maintain our dynamic discreetly, while in the public eye.
i thought it would be fun to share some ideas and tips on how a private DD/lg couple can maintain their dynamic while out in the public. Here are a few ideas:
- Use code words.
By creating simple code words or phrases, you will be able to communicate without judgement from others. Good things to create code words for are ways to say “No”, “you’re in trouble”, “Daddy i need Your help”, “I am in charge little girl”, “Daddy can i ______”, etc. Verbally chastising Your little could make You look bad in front of family or friends, but with code words, You can easily put her in her place without compromising Your character. Saying “I love that color on you” to Your little, instead of “I am very proud of you for being such a good girl and I plan on fucking your little brains out when we get home” will be much more acceptable and thrilling. Have fun with it, but keep things consistent so that it will be easy to remember while on the spot. For example, you will want to remember that when Daddy says “The weather sure has been nice”. What He really means is “you are in very big trouble little girl and I plan to spank you over my knee tonight for being so disrespectful”.
- Be dominant and submissive in little ways.
Simple things like ordering for your little, walking on the street-side to keep her safe, or opening her doors are ways to be Dominant in a way most people would consider gentlemanly. Also, not fighting Him on His opinions/decisions, waiting for Him to take the first bite of dinner, staying at His side at all times, or asking for permission are ways to show submission in a way that will make you look sweet and adoring to onlookers. People often describe Daddy and i as a 50’s housewife dynamic and just think it’s sweet, and what a lucky guy He is to have such a doting girl on His arm. It is important to stay in your roles as Dom/sub even if only in small ways to keep her feeling loved and Him feeling respected.
- Have Hidden Punishments.
It is no secret that littles mess up and need guidance. It isn’t likely that you can just pull her over by her ponytail and spank her good and hard without causing a scene. There are also situations that need correction immediately. For those moments, it would be good to have hidden little punishments that no one sees. A few ideas: Pinch her leg under the table, cut her off from alcoholic drinks, have her go into the restroom and remove her panties for the rest of the night or get them wet in the sink and rung out as much as possible and wear them wet under her clothing, dig a fingernail into her hand, order her a food she hates, etc. There are tons of things that could work, so have fun and find what fits well for your personal relationship.
- Suggest little-friendly meet-up spots.
When you are planning on going out with friends or family, suggest a meeting place that can be little-friendly. Go to an arcade, the zoo, the mall, or a park that way Your little can be “little” in an acceptable way. She can ooh and awe over the monkeys at the zoo, play video games and win a prize at the arcade, visit her favorite stores at the mall (if worried about judgment You can buy her “little” things and explain that You are Christmas shopping for nieces and nephews early to friends/family), or any number of things. By choosing a place that is little-friendly, she can have a blast publicly and not get strange stares.
- Have Fun.
There are times when being serious is important, such as business meetings, funerals, or at the doctor. That being said, in most situations it is okay to be silly and joke around, especially with family and friends. You could have cute pet names you call each other. Most couples have cute names like baby or hun, but who says that you can’t be more creative? If you need some ideas on names here are some Daddy name ideas and little name ideas. You can call each other pretty much anything, especially if said in a joking or playful voice. You can also say things like, “you need a spanking little girl” or “hold my hand while crossing the street princess” as long as you laugh and make it seem like you are being playful. People will laugh with you and find your relationship adorable. Secretly, You and Your little will know that you are both dead serious, and it will add a sense of thrill and excitement having a secret only the two of you share.