My boyfriend talked about dd/lg relationship last night for a bit. He seemed kind of interested, but only in the bedroom. I want to be his little, I want too be nurtured and cared for, but I am afraid to ask for it. Help please! ~ Elizabeth
The fact that your boyfriend is talking about DD/lg in a positive way is really good! He may be wanting it more as well, but afraid you will think its too much or that you will say “no”. The best thing to do is have a very deep conversation and lay a few ground rules before starting. Here are ours when we have talks like this.
- No interrupting or talking over each other
- No yelling or getting angry
- Be open and really listen to what the other is trying to say
- No judging
- Whatever is said during this talk cannot be used against each other in a fight later
- Take notes so you can think over what was said throughout the week until the next talk
It is important to remember that he is most likely just as nervous about being vulnerable as you. This type of lifestyle is not the norm, and someone could be considered weird or sick by others for wanting it. So being open about it is scary. It sounds like this is something that you really want, so you should just tell him. If he loves you, he will be understanding and hear you out. He may not want the same things you do, but at least this way you will both know, and may be able to find a compromise.
There are so many different styles of how a DD/lg or D/s relationship can work. There is DD/lg in the bedroom only, DD/lg 24/7, DD/lg 24/7 TPE, and so many more. Don’t be afraid to research and ask questions. Try experimenting with different styles. By experimenting, you will discover little things about each one that you like. Once you are ready, you can take those pieces and customize your own relationship to fit both of your desires and kinks. There is no one way that fits all. Trying to figure out what you both like or don’t like are often the more fun times you’ll have. You will both laugh, feel silly, and in most cases feel free to be who you truly are.
When we first started with D/s and then DD/lg, we kept saying how amazing it felt and how it was like truly living for the first time. There are things that you will try that you won’t like, and that’s ok. That’s when you both decide if it is a hard limit or soft limit; as in maybe give it another try in the future. What we have found to be most important is consistency. If you both commit to something, like rules or punishments, they need to be followed through on. Even on days you are tired. Even on days you are sick. Even on days you are really busy. The commitment you will both make is the key to success.
This post may be helpful as well: Question: How to tell your boyfriend you want him to be your “Daddy”
i hope that you both find what works best for you! Please feel free to comment or ask any other questions. If any of our readers have anything to add that may help Elizabeth and her boyfriend, please comment! xoxo