BDSM, Beginners, D/s, DD/lg, Dominance, Punishments, Submission, Trust & Respect

Daddy Dom Struggling With Punishments

Punishing Your little is vital and, can sometimes be very hard to wrap Your head around. Deep down, You don’t want to hurt Your little girl because, dammit, she is so fuckin’ cute; but You also feel compelled to teach respect and proper behavior. It is really important to remember that by not punishing Your little, You are doing more harm than good. Every little will test her boundaries, and if she finds that there are none, she will ultimately feel lost, confused, and unloved. She needs to know that You love her enough to teach her how to be Your “good girl”. It is every little’s desire to please her Daddy Dom, and to be praised for doing so.

In the same respect, she is also likely to misbehave (no one can be perfect, even though we try desperately to prove that wrong) and get on Your nerves…often. It is in those moments that Your inner Daddy Dom is called to step up and be the Daddy she needs. Whether it’s bending her over Your knee or privileges lost, You NEED to show her who is Boss.

Men are taught from a very young age, “don’t hit a girl” and “respect women”, etc. It can be extremely difficult when first entering the BDSM lifestyle to wrap Your head around this new taboo way of life. It “is” ok to slap Your girl across the face when she is mouthing off, or pull her across Your knee and spank her until her little ass is bright red. It is finally ok to give in to those hand twitches when she is being rude and back talking to You. People need to understand that a Man needs respect, and without it, He will feel belittled and less than (especially in this lifestyle). How can You assert dominance when she is not respecting You and will not follow orders?  Of course, all of this needs to be discussed upon entering the BDSM relationship, to determine each persons limits. Also, remember that it is never ok to abuse her by going farther than discussed, or to ignore the preset safe word. You should always be in control of Your emotions going into a punishment, to protect both Yourself and her well being. You are in a whole new world and way of life. A world where women are itching to be put in their place, and Men are allowed to assert their true Dominance.

By not punishing Your little, You are causing her damage. she loses faith that You are there for her, and she will become confused about who is in charge. We often hear in the BDSM community the term “topping from bottom”. It is my firm belief that the reason this happens is lack of control from the Master/Daddy. When He fails to step up and be the “bad guy”, she feels unsafe and will either become afraid that You don’t care, so she feels the need to protect herself and be the “Big”, or she will misbehave worse by becoming extremely disrespectful, and defiant in the hopes that You will shut her down. Every little needs a Hero, and no one ever said being the Hero would be easy. You will need to step out of Your comfort zone and lay down the law. She needs it, and honestly, craves it. She wants to know that there are consequences and boundaries, so that she can feel safe, loved, and cared for.

Punishment is love. You love her enough to step out of Your comfort zone and teach her a lesson in a way she will not soon forget. Punishment is also a lot of work. There are immediate actions of deciding the punishment. And then there is the follow-through. It is easy to become, for lack of a better term, “lazy”. Lazy Daddies will ultimately have more work on Their hands than a Daddy who is on the ball and administers praise and punishment at the time that it is needed. The lazy Daddy will have a brat on their hands, who acts up over and over. He will be chasing after her, wondering why He got the “naughty little”, and wonders “wasn’t this supposed to be empowering and be more fulfilling?” Both He and His little will never experience the amazing life that can come from a D/s or DD/lg relationship. There is a lot of work that gets put in to make this lifestyle work, but there is also so much to gain for both parties.

So for those Daddies who are struggling to find proper punishments, here are just a few little ones to get You started:

  • Spanking
  • Early Bedtime
  • Ruler Across the Palm of her Hand
  • Time Out
  • Writing Assignment
  • Slap Across her Face
  • Eat Dinner Alone
  • Grounding
  • Extra Chores
  • Loss of Privilege
  • Cold Shower/Bath
  • Soap in her Mouth
  • Loss of Sexual Gratification
  • Loss of her Favorite Stuffie
  • Loss of Favorite TV Show or Movie
  • No TV at Bedtime
  • Read a Book of Your choosing
  • Lecture from You
  • Loss of Sweets
  • Loss of Furniture
  • Kneel at Your Feet for Specified Time
  • Loss of Speaking
  • Loss of Eye Contact with You
  • Loss of Touching You
  • Loss of Clothes at Home
  • Loss of Internet
  • Eat Food she Doesn’t Like
  • Go Out to Dinner but she Doesn’t Eat
  • Pinching
  • Hair Pulling
  • Sit Outside Alone Until Invited Back In
  • Tied Up While You Do Anything You Want to her
  • Name Changed to Something Cruel for Specified Time
  • Loss of Makeup
  • Ignored by You for Specified Time
  • Loss of Dresses
  • Loss of her Favorite Shoes
  • Eat and Drink Only Oatmeal and Water
  • etc.

The options are limitless, and can be as kinky or cruel as You choose them to be. Always remember to discuss rules, punishments and safe words. littles, listen to your Daddy…He knows best. Daddies, your little needs You to be the Hero, and to put her in her place. Have fun with this, and experiment to find what works best for you.

Please feel free to share your opinions and ideas!!! Daddy and i are always looking for new ways to make our dynamic work even better.

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18 thoughts on “Daddy Dom Struggling With Punishments”

  1. Littlespace Online says:

    You have some great suggestions on Ddlg punishments here. I know I’ve been asked quite a few times about what are appropriate punishments for littles.

    I don’t think punishment is required or absolutely necessary though. While it’s extremely common to incorporate punishment into this type of BDSM relationship, it isn’t always a part of the couple’s interactions. For example, my Daddy would never punish me. I am a very angelic little — one who only strives to please. I would never intentionally do something to displease my Daddy and he knows this so it would be silly to punish me for an accident.

    Nonetheless though…it’s a great article for those that are looking for appropriate BDSM punishment with Ddlg and ageplay. Good job.

    1. Emma says:

      i don’t think punishment is just for when you do something wrong on purpose (i don’t imagine a lot of us do that anyway), it’s for any time you do something incorrectly, so you can learn to do it better. Otherwise you don’t know where the boundaries are and the relationship loses its structure. i want to be shaped and trained to be what He wants, punishment and discipline is a big part of that. i would never do anything intentionally wrong either, but i need to know boundaries will be enforced in order to feel safe and happy.

  2. Angela says:

    I feel like some of these punishments are a bit cruel. To each their own, of course, but my daddy would never go to some of these limits. My daddy is a very cautious man and during certain punishment, he’ll even stop and ask if it’s ‘too much’.

    1. Daddy's princess says:

      Thanks for sharing! It’s important to remember that every dynamic is different and there is no “one” way to punish your little. There are more than a few on the list that Daddy and i have never tried or needed to try, but the threat was made. When a Daddy punishes His little, He is doing it for her own good. When it comes to punishment, trust is key. Trust that He would never punish unfairly, and that you would speak up if it was going too far.

      As stated in the post, it is important to discuss rules and punishments on a regular basis. What was a hard limit for you in the beginning, could have changed over the course of time with trust being built up. Trial and error is sure to happen. How do you know if it’s something either of you will appreciate if you never try it out? Not everything is on the table, and, generally, people have a line they will not cross. There are limits that Daddy and i will not break, and i am sure every dynamic has their own. Communication and trust should always be top priorities.

      The way that you and your Daddy handle punishment is not wrong. The same way a Daddy who punishes His little in a more cruel way isn’t wrong. What you find cruel, others might find erotic. There is no box that each DD/lg relationship fits into. Everyone loves differently, interprets love differently, and experiences love differently. We are not here to judge any of them. Just sharing our own perspectives and points of view.

      We love hearing from our readers! Thank you so much for commenting, and sharing your personal view of how your dynamic works!!!!

  3. Anna says:

    One of daddy’s rules is that I have to wear his hoodie to bed. One day I was tired and accidently I fell asleep with out it. So the next night daddy let me outside at night and locked the door behind him. He didn’t give me his hoodie, it was cold, and he didn’t let me in until morning. Do you think that was too cruel?

    1. Daddy Dom says:

      Hi Anna!

      If nothing else, it was definitely clever-minded.

      There are a lot of things in the BDSM and alternative lifestyles many would consider cruel and unusual, but I think it depends on the situation. Was it snowing? Was he up all night with you, even though you were outside separated by a door or glass? I’d say he definitely got his point across about wearing (or keeping near) his hoodie. He probably wanted you to be prepared, and possibly training or teaching you in the area of safety. But the answer to your question probably depends on circumstance and the little nuances of the unique situation to label it cruel or not.

      Personally, I take princess’ safety very serious. That wouldn’t have been something I would have done for any lengthy period of time (maybe an hour, tops). I have a hard enough time letting her out of the house for any other reason by herself. She’s quite literally My little Rapunzel, trapped most of the time in My tower (until I decide to let her out)! I’m a bit controlling in that way. Possessive.

      1. Anna says:

        Haha just kidding it was ten minutes O.O

      2. imani says:

        Excuse me o.o i’d like to just point out that your relationship is mutherlovin goals. And it’s so awesome that you referred to her as your rapunzellll omg

  4. DaddysLolita says:

    This is an interesting list of punishments. Stern lectures work well for me, or if Daddy blatantly says I’ve disappointed him and he knows I can do better *cries*. We also do writing assignments.

    1. LittleCryBaby says:

      But..my daddy doesn’t like to hurt me or punish me cause I listen but should I try to piss him off? Would he become cruel if I do it?

      1. DaddysLolita says:

        Why would you purposefully provoke him?

  5. Lawrance says:

    Hey guys,

    I’m pretty new to being a Daddy, about four days new, so this list was really helpful. I discussed each punishment in the list with my little to figure out where her hard lines are (face slapping mainly) and it’s helped me come up with more punishments myself, like handcuffing her high up on the ladder to her bunk bed so she can’t sit down whilst I read some of these blog posts to her in the sexiest, deepest voice I can muster. This one was read whilst she sat up on her knees for spitting out her binky too many times, three strikes and she gets a punishment on the same level as the misdemeanor. When she swears she has to apologize and pull one hair from her head, and keep it in a box, she hardly swore again after the tenth time, as every time she opens the box she’s reminded of what she’s losing. Sounds strange but it worked, she really likes her hair. We also didn’t have a safe word so I made sure she has one, although she didn’t see the need, just in case she started to get sub drop (I think that’s what it’s called).

    I just want to personally thank you guys for putting up this resource so that people can be safer and have a more enjoyable time. And the list of little date ideas is up next on my reading list, I’m so glad I’ve found this special princess to be mine.

    Lots of love and hugs and kisses,

    Lawrance x

  6. little bird says:

    These are helpful punishment ideas… But could someone give us an example of a punishable behavior or incident? I guess I am more like LittleSpace in that I really do try my best to please… I don’t think I have a naturally bratty side? Or maybe I’m just new enough to this that she hasn’t come out just yet haha… Anyway, what would prompt one of these punishments for you two?

    Thanks!

  7. DaddysLolita says:

    Hair pulling is definitely interesting. I love my hair too and if I had to pull some out for punishment it would surely stop me in the future!

  8. imani says:

    omggg that last sentence omg guyssssss *heart melt*!!!!

  9. DaddyBlaze'slittle says:

    Hi me and my daddy have been together for about a year and most of it is long distance. Some punishments he’s given me range from sentences (hate em) to orgasm denial. I showed him this list and he’s thought of many more punishments for each “bad” thing I’ve done. One is ignoring (scariest one ever). Usually I get scared from it but I know I have to wait to talk. Daddy has gotten very creative. 😛

  10. Mattdaddy says:

    So I’ve been a daddy for about a year the relationship has been almost two years but I wasn’t comfortable being daddy at first. I just finished reading this and realized I’m the “lazy daddy” and it has resulted in my Princess having nightmares of her seeing me leave. Like leaving her and she walks up crying into my chest punishment won’t fix it I praise her and show her my love every chance is get but I truly don’t know how to help her and it hurts me. Can you help me please?

  11. TheBigBadDaddyLion says:

    So I have a Princess little and I was wondering about punishments. It’s currently a LDR and I was wondering what I should do for punishments. We already have grounding, spanking, writing sentences, and time out. But there are some days where these just don’t cut it and I’m not there to smack some sense into her… So what should I do?

    P.S. A Princess Little is basically and extremely spoiled brat (blame her actual father not me lmao. I spoil her in moderation) who, if she doesn’t get her way, throws a huge fit. Like… HUGE. Usually I can nip it in the bud but here I am lol.

    P.S.S If its prevalent information she’s 24 and I’m 21. And she’s also a sub.

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