Hi my daddy doesn’t understand i don’t feel comfortable sending pictures of myself. i told him my limits and that was one of them but he keeps pushing to get a picture out of me and a lot of times he makes me feel very uncomfortable and sometimes hurts me with what he says. but my question is should i stay with him even though he keeps pushing to get stuff out of me and i know your supposed to be honest so i told him a lot about me and what happened to me and why i don’t like doing some of the things he wants me to do but i don’t wanna stay with him but i don’t know if thats the right thing we have only been together for like a a month. ~ lilipad
Thanks for writing lilipad! I’m going to assume that this is a long distance relationship (LDR), and that your Daddy is wanting nudes sent via text message, Snapshat, or via other means. The question didn’t specifically identify this, but I think that’s what you’re saying. Let’s get started!
Limits and Boundaries
First and foremost, in any power exchange relationship, is the discussion of limits. Everybody has a different limit for various things; and yours, it sounds like, are that you don’t want pictures of yourself floating around on the Internet for everybody to see. That’s not an unreasonable limit, and you’re entitled to your own safety precautions in a relationship. The two of you (and only the two of you) define the limits of the relationship. If you both agreed to the limits at the beginning, then He has no business trying to sway you toward lifting your limit.
Don’t get Me wrong. Lifting limits can happen. It’s just that you’ll need to be the one comfortable with it before the two of you can proceed any further in the relationship in that area. Myself and princess have modified our limits (things we’re okay with, and things we’re not okay with) multiple times since we started out. When we first started figuring everything out, there was no way we could have possibly known every little nuance about the relationship (and each other’s boundaries) that we might encounter. For that reason, it’s common to reconsider boundaries, and something that both people can come to the table on to re-define the relationship’s boundaries.
Respect and Trust
If your Daddy is not willing to respect your boundaries/limits (regardless of whether or not He actually “understands” them), then He’s not doing his duty to His little. As discussed in Raising a little Who Has Been Abused, He is challenging your trust. It’s your Daddy’s job to ensure you’re taken care of, and worry free. Okay…maybe not every Daddy, but that’s how I am with princess. I don’t want her to worry about anything. But right now, He’s creating worry within you, and has (in some ways) betrayed your trust. He entrusted you to respect His limits; yet, He fails to respect yours.
As her Daddy, Your job is to protect her and kiss away her tears. Her 100% trust in You will grow roots that run deeper and deeper (more than You realize today). Roots that will ground her from ever falling away from You. You are responsible for maintaining those roots, with every kept promise and each adoring kiss.
That said, it’s entirely possible that the two of you are not compatible. It sounds like He wants something that you’re unable/unwilling to give up. If that will never change, then the two of you have two choices in order to keep the relationship alive and happy:
- He’ll need to accept it, and move on
- you’ll cave, and give Him what He wants
Either way, in this scenario, somebody’s giving up something. Most relationships thrive with compromise. It’s a way of showing love to the other person. But certain limits (which are different for each Daddy/little) might never be given in to.
What about His Side?
On the flip side, let’s imagine this from His perspective for a moment. Also, let’s assume they’re not nude pictures He’s requested, and that (possibly) He hasn’t seen a picture of you ever before; whether it be via email, text, Skype, etc. I do think it reasonable your Daddy gets to see who you are, and that you’re a real person that He’s in a relationship with. If He hasn’t seen even a regular, clothed picture of you yet, then I could see how He might feel Catfish’ed. He’s (hopefully) in this for real, too. And He should get to know who He’s dating (regardless of the power exchange going on).
It does sound like the two of you have different expectations of what should and shouldn’t be included in the relationship, and that there’s a gap that needs to be closed. The two of you are on opposite ends, and meeting in the middle is critical for success in the Daddy Dom/little girl relationship. If it’s going to work out, then somehow the two of you are going to need to come together and agree on what’s considered acceptable.
I’ve attempted to answer to the best of My ability with the limited information given. There are some variables missing in your question that are essential to give accurate advice. I do hope this has helped you, though! princess and I are wishing you our best in figuring out how far you want to take this particular relationship.
If anyone has experience with someone wanting you to share, but you’re maybe not ready, please let us know in the comments!