My wife and I are fairly new to this and learning more and more as we go. She likes it, but sometimes feels some of the “littlegirl” stuff is too much, but knows I like when she goes all out as much as she is willing to do. She wants me to push her to the limits but then feels weird when we try to make it a lifestyle. I know it needs to be a balance between us and what she is comfy doing. But it seems like at times she wants to be completely submissive, but then soon after her feelings change mostly because of work or kids or I’m so busy. Any advice is helpful. Do you guys do this 24/7? Is it only in the bedroom for you? Can it be done on a much smaller scale like we only do it in the bedroom? I personally want it outside the bedroom and I think she does too, because we did a contract and in it she said she wants to do some things outside the bedroom (meaning more than just sex) but she is admitting she is having a hard time committing to it. Any suggestions on what I could do to help? She loves when I take control so should I just take what I know she likes and control what and where we go with this? Shall I push her to the limit and just let her tell me when It’s too far? Do you have kids through all this? How do you live this life style with kids? We have two kids. Any suggestions or you can ask me more questions if I didn’t explain myself well enough. Thanks. ~DaddyDom James
Hi DD James! i am sorry she is having such a hard time 🙁
Hopefully i can help out, even if just a little! To start off, yes we live our DD/lg relationship 24/7, and yes we have kids. Here is an article about living with kids in a DD/lg relationship. Although i am not in little space all the time, i tend to go in and out depending on what’s going on with our day. When i am not in little space, i am Daddy’s sub. i clean and cook for Him. i take care of the shopping, and the schedules for the kids. i help Daddy with work projects. Pretty much anything to serve Daddy. We also have two puppies that i take care of, so my day is VERY busy and exhausting. i still take time during the day for little time. i color a picture or watch a cartoon with a juice box and fishie crackers. Sometimes i just cuddle my stuffies and use my binkie and take a small nap. It’s just as important for Daddy that i have time for little space as it is for me, without it i start to get cranky and frustrated.
i think it is so awesome you guys did a contract! Daddy and i thought about it and even started writing one, but it never got finished. We have a dynamic that is a little different than most DD/lg couples, in that we have a TPE (Total Power Exchange). i basically do what He says no matter what. He allows me to give my opinion, but ultimately He has the final say. If i choose to be disobedient, i will be punished. It is what works best for us, and no, we are not perfect at it. i tend to be bratty when i don’t get my way, but Daddy always puts me in my place. A lot of trust goes into a TPE relationship. And lots of trust, that we have spent many months building.
i would sit down and talk with your wife. Have an open communication about where you can both say how you are feeling without any consequence or judgement. Basically anything said in that conversation cannot be used in a fight later, and neither of you can be punished for what was said. It’s about putting everything on the table to see what you are working with. True transparency.
It sounds to me like your wife may be shy or not ready for certain things. Also some littles are not into age-play. These are two important things to find out in your talk. Maybe she just needs to feel safe in order to be little. i would suggest starting slow. If she just needs a push from Daddy, try giving her a few tasks each week to work on. Trying to jump head-first into a new lifestyle can be scary. Daddy and i have tried lots of things that were just not for us, but we wouldn’t have known until we tried. Maybe buy her some coloring books and crayons and have her sit on a soft blankie at your feet while you watch a Daddy show, and she colors you a picture. Sitting below you will put her in the mindset of being below you (and that you are in charge), and doing a little activity in the safety of your presence might calm her fears.
i would be careful not to push her farther than she is ready. She may say she is ready, but when it comes time to follow through, she might become frightened. In those times it’s important for you to hold her and tell her that it’s alright. Remember, she is little. Things are really scary when you are little. You never want her to be afraid of you hurting her; emotionally or physically. Also remember, you are the Daddy. If she commits to something and she is scared, but you feel it is in her best interest to follow through regardless, then put your foot down. Have her complete whatever task it is, and then afterwards, have her sit at your feet while you brush her hair and ask her how she feels now that it’s over. Is she proud she submitted to Daddy? Is she unhappy with how things turned out? Will time and more experiences like that help in her growth?
There is no reason that you cannot have a DD/lg relationship that is in the bedroom only, if that is what fulfills you both. There are no rules to how a DD/lg relationship works. It all comes down to what makes you both happy. i always say that open communication is what keeps a relationship strong. Be deeply honest, and truly listen to what the other is saying. Find compromises and try new things. Trial and error can be some of the funnest times! It all comes down to fulfilling each others desires.
Here are a few articles i think will help you both!