Beginners, D/s, DD/lg, Trust & Respect

littles with littles, DD/lg In a Home with Children

As most of you know, I’m the Daddy, and princess is My little girl. I’m also the Dom to her submissive, and head of our home. Not just to her, but our children as well. We have four children (15, 11, 8 & 5), and pulling off the DD/lg lifestyle can be difficult at times.

Getting over fears of being little (or Big)

tumblr_nlyox2X9ie1t7hmu2o1_500Kids are smart. They pick up on a lot. They question everything. They’re inquisitive, and want answers (often). Having a house full of kids, it can lead you to feel out of place, or like you’re doing something wrong. Depending on the person, it may feel awkward to pull out a pacifier or a sippy cup in front of the kids. It’s not “normal”, and certainly most other couples don’t do this.

So we’re weird, right? Well…not really. Maybe. But at the end of the day, what we’ve found is that our children don’t care. They questioned it a bit at first, and we answered them with things like: “My little girl wants to be a princess, too!”, or “This pacifier is for my teeth so they don’t grind.” We don’t generally go this far with public display out of the house, but in the house…it’s our home. It’s our choice.

We try to be respectful to others around us. If we have company visiting, we’re probably not taking it that far. But with the kids around, they’ve generally been pretty accepting of everything. I’ll cater to princess and get her woobie (blanket) for her (I love to spoil her rotten). I’d be happy to take a moment’s break and get her a juice box or her sippy cup. Or, maybe fix her a snack and put a movie on for some quiet time.

While it all may seem “weird” to some people on the surface, it’s kind of fun! The kids get to snuggle up with us and watch that same movie. They usually get to participate in some way with the snacks. Most of the time, the kids feel like everything is normal, and that we’re just playing around and having fun. And really, they don’t actually need to know that we’re as serious about this as we are. That’s our secret, and we share as much as we feel is comfortable.

Relationships with children in a DD/lg household

IMG_0350This part’s interesting. We’ve talked about it, the two of us. When as is said and done, we feel that our relationships with each of the children are better than they would be if we weren’t a DD/lg couple living together. Everything is pretty natural, and commonplace as far as most parent/child relationships go.

For princess, she’s little. Who better to relate to a child than a person in little space? She’s playful, funny, and willing to participate in games at any time. Most of the time she shares, and is an exceptionally caring person. For her, the kids are like kids/siblings. she’s both a mother, and a peer to them (at least in my eyes).

For Myself, I’m Daddy to both the children and to princess. I parent all five of them, and rule the household with her much in the same way I would with just children alone. I will admit that there’s a different kind of love I show for princess in all of this, though. After all, we are consenting adults and over the age of 18, so we have a different set of limits for ourselves than we would with the parenting of the children.

Punishments for My little girl when our children are present

If punishment is deserved for My little girl, she often receives it in private. But there are ways to do it around the children. Such as: “shushing”, a light pinch on the thigh, a slap on the hand, taking a privilege away (denial of something), early bedtime, or sometimes a small spanking. Most of the time, the kids see these as playful, and no harm is done.

Are you a DD/lg couple who also have children that live with you? We’d love to know your experiences, so please tell us in the comments!

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10 thoughts on “littles with littles, DD/lg In a Home with Children”

  1. Cherry Bomb says:

    We have a 14, a 12, and an 8. Plus I was a stand in mom to my siblings ages 15, 15, and 14. Similar ages… This is getting weird with the similarities.
    Are you two married? Or do they know Princess as dad’s girlfriend?
    Does Princess really use sippy cups and binkies in front of them? Our eldest just saw mine and was extremely rude about it even though she has no idea why it was in our room.
    We can’t spank with the kids around. My Daddy tried the other day and the kids came up to the bedroom door being nosy because they could hear. He’s learning to get more inventive now. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing!

    1. Daddy Dom says:

      Thanks for sharing Cherry 🙂

      We’re not married yet, but have talked about it extensively. It’s coming.

      Inventive is good! Consequences won’t always be socially-acceptable, necessarily, so keep doing what you’re doing.

      Also, be open with whatever you’re comfortable with around the kids. It can be a sensitive topic, and really, we are their parents, too. I think there should be some level of sensitivity when children are around, but everyone’s relationship with their kids is different. She uses sippy cups around the kids, and it’s really relatively minor compared to some of the things that could happen out in the open. The binky, sometimes…but not as often. Mostly, though?…it’s cuddles and brushing of hair and things like that. The little things. The ones that fly under the radar most of the time, but have different meaning to the two of us.

      This is kind of a side note, but if we are ever neglecting our parental duties to the true minors (the under-age children), then that’s not good. And probably a recipe for DSHS to get involved at some point. I don’t know if anyone living this lifestyle has ever been in that situation where the child’s wellbeing were called into question, but I’m curious if it has. That’s probably a little off-topic, though.

  2. Cherry Bomb says:

    Did I say something that worried you about our parenting….?
    We don’t spank them, I don’t know if that’s what you thought I meant.

    1. Daddy Dom says:

      Oh no! Not at all.

      What you were saying about not doing certain things in front of the kids (which is kind of this whole post anyways)…my brain started wandering with thoughts of what’s actually acceptable or not acceptable. Not necessarily society’s standards for raising children, but what happens at the state or county level. It got me thinking “What would happen if DSHS knew, and what do they consider crossing the line”. I was curious what other people thought, or if anyone’s run into that before. The law. 🙂

    2. Daddy Dom says:

      Specifically, I was talking about what another entity would think about our lifestyle, and how open we are about it. Perhaps nothing. I don’t believe we’re breaking any laws. We’re not abusive to the children. But I was wondering if some idiotic bigot somewhere in local government (who deals with Child Protective Services) would have any type of case against raising children in a DD/lg household. Kind of a deep topic that I haven’t seen discussed anywhere else yet.

      1. cherry bomb says:

        Oh OK I see. I don’t know anything about that either. People get so up in arms about everything, though. Somebody might assume if you’re little or a Daddy Dom then you’re a pedophile so let’s get those kids away from you. It seems very plausible when you consider the fact that nowadays everybody has an opinion and everybody is entitled to share it no matter what. As soon as somebody is offended everybody automatically has to care and be politically correct. Ugh.
        That’s why it’s easier to be little!! We don’t have to worry about political correctness. My Daddy takes care of that for me! 🙂
        I’d be interested to know what other people have experienced concerning minors in the house with a little and the law. I don’t think it’s breaking any laws either, it’s just that people are being prosecuted and persecuted even if they’ve never broken a law.

      2. Daddy RJ says:

        I’m not sure from a legal point of view. I could see a possible issue with some up tight prosecutor with a stick up his ass because the DD/lg lifestyle doesn’t match up with social ideals of what relationships should be.

        I’ve had issues with this myself actually. We found out early in her daughter’s life (she’s only 3 now) that discipline in front of a child should not be done. At least for her child as early as 1yr old, doing so teaches them that it is okay to hit mommy. Where mommy is little, she’s mommy first, especially at that age and still breastfeeding.

        As a result, we ended up putting far too much of the DD/lg relationship on hold for the sake of the child and that ultimately destroyed the relationship. LONG STORY, but I’ve already covered it over and over and over again elsewhere.

        I would just add that no matter how you choose to conduct yourselves in front of the children that you allow yourselves that Daddy/little time as well. I believe it is imperative for the health of your relationship. Don’t back burner everything. Take the time you need for your needs as well.

      3. Daddy Dom says:

        Excellent points!

        We try to balance the roles when parenting is necessary (and children are present). When needing to give a consequence, a little pinch under the table doesn’t hurt when in public or around the children, or a rubber band snap to the wrist. There are plenty of “on the DL” ideas I’m sure we could share, but that’s how we do it for the most part. Our youngest is 5 years old, and probably the most sensitive to how we choose to interact (Myself and My little) around him.

        I agree, it’s important to make sure that we’re parenting first, though. Keeping serious consequence between the two of us behind closed doors. Actually, a stern look is sometimes all it takes, and princess knows EXACTLY what I’m thinking the second our eyes meet. But generally, she’ll act little around the kids. She’ll color with them, or play games. Really…wanting to be one of the kids. And I’m still Daddy when we’re around the kids. princess will even call Me “Daddy” (because I really am the Daddy of the house). It’s secret, but also out in the open (sorry, it’s hard to describe this stuff in words sometimes).

        The children know they can come to us about anything and everything, and we’re generally accepting of a large variety of lifestyles. Heck, one of our kids might end up to be gay someday, who knows…and we try to let them know that they can count on us to be there for them and listen, whatever the issue. I’m divorced, and three of the children are Mine from a former marriage. They feel like they don’t have a person at their other house to confide in. They’re over-sheltered, ignored, etc. We’re a bit more open-minded, and focused on not driving them away from us. I’d rather have them draw nearer, and for them to have parents they can really relate to and know that we’re not going to turn them away. I think it’s those principles that allow for a relationship like this to be (at all) acceptable to them.

        The fact that princess is a little…that probably makes her a better mother than most. While she definitely understands the “mommy” part (the ingredient most parents would have), she certainly “relates” better to the kids, and (I feel) has a closer bond to them on a different level than few people in this world can actually comprehend. It’s like she’s on their level or something. Know what I mean?

  3. Lilmiss says:

    I have a 19 yo and a 17 yo and they both know about my little and have for over a year. I will color and watch movies with my blankie and my stuffies sometimes. I don’t use sippy cups or binkies. Though I do love all little food and juice boxes.

    It’s a little different for me as my Daddy doesn’t live with me. I’m married and in an open/poly relationship, so normally my kids don’t see any interactions where I’m little with my Daddy. It’s all a very interesting situation.

    As for the legal ramifications of a Ddlg household with minor children, I’m with @Cherry Bomb these days anyone can use any non-normative behavior against you so it’s always better to be safe than sorry. The expectations of our society when it comes to what is “normal” is some of the most restrictive there is, maybe even just below extremist to some degree most days. ok…rant over…lol. Just my two cents!

    1. Daddy Dom says:

      Thanks for writing!

      It’s good to hear this, such as your children know about you being a “little”. Ours don’t officially know (yet), but we’ve casually let slip about an alternative lifestyle dynamic with our oldest (almost 15 years old). He’s pretty accepting of it, even if he feels like it’s a little weird. So far, so good.

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