I just became a sub about a month ago. I met an older man online and he turned out to be a dom. He told me after our 3rd date and asked me to think about being his little. He directed me to all kinds of websites, including yours, to help me understand what I was getting into. We dated and chatted via text for about 2-3 weeks before I decided he’d earned my submission. Armed with as much info as I could get I told him I was ready to be his. He accepted. And about a week later we consummated our relationship. And things were going well until that day. He has to come to me because his grown son lives with him. I have kids so we can only meet on weekends when they go see their dad. And I’ve gone to his home once when his son was out if town for the day. Here’s the issue. My daddy lives 30 miles from me. And he owns his own business so he’s very busy. He’s still very attentive via email and we text everyday. He gives me tasks and assignments. Praises me when I do well chastises me when I don’t. But I miss him. Need him. I didn’t think it’d be this hard. All was good before we had sex. Now all I can think about is being with him. It’s been a week since our last encounter. He wasn’t able to make it last weekend. But promises this weekend. But I’m doubtful. I don’t like this anymore. I want to talk to him but I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I have told him I miss him. And need him. He says the same. But I feel funny. He’s just 30 mins away. How do you make a long distance daddy/little relationship work? Or should I just call it quits? Even in my vanilla relationships I saw my lover more than once a week. ~ Newbie sub
Wow, what a hard situation to be in. i couldn’t imagine being away from my Daddy for more than a day or two, much less weeks. i am curious, why can’t His adult son know He has a girlfriend? i understand keeping the “sub” aspect a secret, but your existence? i mean, he is a fully-grown adult son. What his father is doing is none of his business. It really sounds sketchy to me. It is also strange that He wants to meet on your turf only. Is it possible He has more than just a grown son, like a wife or girlfriend? It all just seems “off” to me. 30 miles is not very far, and should’t be considered a long distance relationship.
i would confront Him, and tell Him your needs and desires; at which time He can tell you His own. If you cannot find a compromise to get what you both need, it seems unlikely that a lasting relationship would survive. If it hurts His feelings or makes Him angry, then it shows immaturity, and not signs of a strong, legit Dominant. A good Daddy or Dom should not only want to know His submissive’s needs, but demand to know them…in order for Him to be a successful Dom. Open communication is what builds the foundation of trust.
Don’t be afraid to lose Him by needing answers to legitimate questions. Be afraid of the valuable time you will lose by being in a relationship with a dishonest, secretive person. i really hope i am wrong, and that He is just a busy guy, and you can both find lasting happiness. Please feel free to leave a follow up of what happens in the comments, or through email. Daddy and i are both worried and hopeful for you.