Every now and then, we get sick. Illness sets in, and we get behind in the things that we need to do or distracted by what’s happening in the now vs. what is really important to us. In our case, we’ve dealt with colds, the flu, and now a car accident. Everything piles up, and we find ourselves focusing on the responsibilities of life. So much that we sometimes forget the D/s aspects of our relationship and what it means to one-another.
Too much pain, make it stop
While we were both involved in a car accident nearly a week ago, and both in pain for various reasons, My poor princess has been particularly hurting and in agony. We were at the emergency room until 2:00 AM last night, and she had to get medication through an IV. It was the only thing that would help, after the repeated pain led to a migraine that lasted for four days. CAT scan, and all…she was eventually better and finally able to get some rest.
Conflict while in pain
When I got home to take care of princess and get her the care that she needed, she seemed short with Me. I was trying to prioritize her and move us out the door as quickly as possible, since she’d been in bed all day with no help. It’s possible that it was Me as well, after having worked all day knowing how she was feeling and that there was little I could do about it on that particular day. But she was hurting so bad, I don’t think she realized just how her comments were sounding to Me while everything was going on. I don’t think she meant to be disrespectful…I honestly believe that with all My heart. But in the moment, she sounded as though she was being combative and wanting to run things.
The real issue here
I believe that it’s these moments that we see the need for the Dominant and submissive roles that carry deeper meaning than that of a surface-level D/s relationship. When as a Dominant you need to step in and take over even if they don’t want it and the chips are stacked high. She was in no way capable of taking care of herself. Driving was out of the question. Medications weren’t working. In fact, she couldn’t carry on a phone call with a doctor or nurse, much less a conversation with anyone else in person. She needed Me to take over and make it all better.
That’s genuinely what I was trying to do, but the snappy remarks made it difficult. My typical reaction is to dispute or defend My position, and make it known why I am right and the other person is not. This time, though, it just made her feel worse when she was already at her worst. It compounded the problem. So then, this is a lesson for Me to provide care and set Myself aside when she needs Me the most and she’s at her weakest.
So what do you do?
If you find yourself in a situation like this (and you know that your submissive/little really respects you and wants to please you), take a moment to pause in those moments when you’re feeling disrespected or belittled, and think back to the worst pain you’ve ever felt. Chances are, they don’t mean it. It’s accidental or involuntary. And the pain over-running their life simply takes over and becomes so much to take than the notion of adhering to “protocol” within the D/s relationship. To them, in that moment, nothing else matters and it’s survival that kicks in.
Have any of you struggled with feelings of disrespect like this in the past? How have you coped with those situations? Were there consequences? Forgiveness? Let us know in the comments!