Beginners, DD/lg, Trust & Respect

What’s Missing Could Be the Cause of What’s Breaking Your Daddy Dom/little Relationship

What is missing in a lot of relationships today? Validation. Both partners need to validate the other. Not want, but actual true need for it. With both the Daddy and the little filling the needs of the other, true happiness and stability begins to form. Moods begin to improve. The promise of fidelity becomes stronger, and self esteem begins to grow. Love and respect begin to root into your foundation, as the fuel to ignite that lasting “in love” feeling. When your “tank” is being filled by the person you truly desire, there is never a need to seek it out anywhere else.

Whether little, submissive, slave, or vanilla; almost every girl i have ever spoken with seeks validation from their partner. It is as if we were programmed to seek out approval, before feeling “good enough”. If that need is not filled, they look for it in other people, and in other ways. Maybe she seeks validation in her friends, when her man isn’t giving it to her. Maybe she seeks it out in a co-worker, through “innocent” flirtation. Whatever the case may be, i can almost guarantee she has already been seeking it in the place she truly desires most; but perhaps, has grown tired and worn down from constant neglect. Bottom line, a girl wants to hear that she is beautiful, wanted, needed, intelligent, and loved.

This is even more true for a little. If a Daddy is failing to validate His princess, she will feel less and less important to Him, and will look for it in other ways. One way is acting out, and hoping to get any form of attention. Another could simply be catching another man’s eyes in the grocery store, just to feel beautiful and desired (even if just for a moment). It is important to note that this is NOT an excuse for cheating; but ask yourself how cheating typically starts. One person in the relationship is missing something that the other person is not giving them. Whether it be validation, respect, love, kindness, sex, etc. Then, over time with their needs being ignored, someone outside of the relationship fills the need. It can be as simple as another person taking the time to listen to you, or say kind words of encouragement. When you are starved for that attention and find a source, you seek more and more from that source. Then next thing you know, you are having an affair. Once again, being neglected is not an excuse for an affair; but it is a warning sign that your relationship needs help.

Men need validation just as much as women. Often, they seek it not just from their partner, but their ability to succeed. Daddies need validation from Their littles. A Daddy craves her respect and approval. He wants to know that He is good enough, and doing a good job as her Daddy. He worries, more than you probably know, about being enough for you and being able to fill your needs. When He hears words of encouragement and respect, He gets pumped up and ready to take on the world. Without it, He is left trying to navigate without knowing if He is even headed in the right direction. Fearing that a single mistake will push you away, and He lose you forever.

When you are in a Daddy Dom/little relationship it is easy to fall into the idea that the Daddy does all of the work, and it is on Him to make everything “okay”. While that concept is true in many parts of the relationship, it is not true in the fact that it takes a little to make a Daddy, and a Daddy to make a little. Without the power dynamic in place, it is simply a vanilla relationship. The Daddy needs His little to validate Him, show Him respect, say words of encouragement, be there for Him sexually, and fill His basic needs. The little needs her Daddy to validate her, show her love, say words of encouragement, be there for her emotionally, and fill her basic needs.

The little is to give respect, even when He does not deserve it. The same way a Daddy is to give His little love, even when she does not deserve it. Everyone has off days, and will mess up; sometimes in little ways, but sometimes in very big ways. Those mistakes do not make them less-worthy of love or respect. If anything, it is during those times that they need it the most. Having that grace will encourage them to try harder and be better; far more than being disrespected or unloved. How motivating is it to try to be a better partner, when the other person is critiquing everything you do and “punishing” you for it? By punish i mean yelling, belittling, ignoring, helicopter correcting, etc. This is not talking about a Daddy punishing His little for misbehaving, which is a loving act. This is more for those who yell at a partner for taking the wrong turn when driving, or withhold sex for as a way of communicating hurt feelings, and so on.

We have written several articles that will be coming out over this next week that will help give you ideas and ways to lift your partner up, instead of kicking them when they are down. Ways to show them validation, love, and respect; even when they do not deserve it. As the articles come out, I will link to them in the list below:

What do you feel is missing in relationships today?? Please feel free to leave your comments and opinions below! We love hearing what you all have to say! xoxo

Other articles we think you'll love!

12 thoughts on “What’s Missing Could Be the Cause of What’s Breaking Your Daddy Dom/little Relationship”

  1. little sunshine says:

    This is awesome and I am really looking forward to reading the articles you listed! My Daddy and I are long-distance, which is hard enough in ANY relationship. Also, he has never been good with showing emotional attachment to a female due to numerous failed vanilla relationships leaving scars and wasting time. We met, instantly connected, but we struggled with how to proceed since neither of us wanted anything we had already been through. Then I was told about DD/lg and I explained it to him. Everything in the WORLD all of a sudden made sense for the both of us. It clicked. He had been a “Daddy” before he ever knew he was one, and the same with me being little. So we started our relationship committed to only one another but not as boyfriend/girlfriend vanilla, but Daddy and little. It has been so great, but I often feel like maybe he doesn’t completely heart me like I do him. I have definitely been acting out lately. I see now that I am just seeking that validation… But by acting out and being a bad girl, I am probably making it REALLY hard to be my Daddy. Thanks for the perspective. Going to go do something I know he’d be proud of now. 🙂

  2. Cherry Bomb says:

    About 4-5 months ago, after finally figuring out my Daddy’s password to His phone, I found emails from and to a woman He worked with. She sent Him pics in her underwear and a video of her private bits while she masturbated. He responded in kind, but only with a video, not a picture.
    I’ve told you before I’m not good at listening but I’m really working on it. I know my Daddy feels appreciated and respected by touch so I’m working on giving Him massages without being prompted and I lay with Him before He goes to sleep and rub His scalp until He starts snoring. He’s a Virgo so He requires alone time a lot and I’m working on not taking it personally when He needs it. I’m trying really hard to improve and be the best little I can be and help Him feel respected and appreciated but you’re telling me He’s not getting enough? I ask Him over and over why He did that and He always tells me there is no reason. It would be so much easier for me to start to forgive Him if He had a reason. Is it my fault? Am I the reason? I’ve been working extra hard since then so maybe if I can be better He won’t do it again. About a year and a half ago He was on plenty of fish. He told me it was to find a woman to have a threesome with but He never told me about it. Back then I wanted a threesome, but i wanted to do it all together. I know I need to try harder and do better but He won’t tell me how.

    1. Daddy's princess says:

      Reading this honestly broke my heart for you. NO YOU ARE NOT THE ONE IN THE WRONG!!!!!!! i cannot say it any clearer. Even if you were failing him in some area, that is NEVER an excuse for cheating. He broke serious trust, and it seems more than once. You have every right to be upset and hurt. When trust is broken due to cheating, it will take a very long time to heal and rebuild.

      He is the leader, and you trusted Him with that role. He has obviously been making choices that are not healthy for your relationship, and leading you poorly. No little is perfect, and defiance should be expected to a degree; but His job as the Daddy is to teach you and provide boundaries, rules, and consequences. The fact that He is using your defiance as a reason for cheating, is basically Him failing as a Daddy to provide for your basic needs.

      However, if you choose to stay in this relationship, you should still show Him respect. That does not mean He has the right to walk all over you, though. Being respectful, in this case, can mean: not yelling at Him, listening when He is talking, respectfully expressing your hurt and confusion, asking Him for time to heal, and setting new healthy boundaries which you BOTH need to follow. Daddies should have rules too. That is what happens at the beginning of the relationship; the couple states their soft and hard limits. When either party breaks a pre-set hard limit that was mutually agreed upon, they are breaking the contract set between them, and you have every right to walk away; or at the very least re-examine if He is mature enough to have your trust and innocence as a little by being a Daddy. Cheating is a huge red flag for your future together.

      If He is not willing to change and rebuild your trust with patience and love, then i would suggest removing Him from your life. you are precious and deserve love. He needs to halt all private conversation, take a step back from the three-some talks, remove his profile from any dating sites, and put all of His focus on rebuilding your relationship with you if He plans on keeping it.

      You cannot fix someone who doesn’t want to change. you deserve a Daddy who will put you first before Himself. There is NO excuse for cheating. It is immature, cruel, and the opposite of love. He chose His own “wants” over your “needs”. A Daddy’s number one job should always be to protect and love His little. That is how the little feels safe enough to be “little” in the first place.

      Please do not blame yourself for what’s happened. i would encourage your Daddy to reach out to my Daddy to talk over some things. If you are both wanting to heal this relationship, my Daddy is willing to mentor your Daddy to help mature and encourage Him to be a better Man and leader for you. We are ALWAYS here for you and wish you only happiness. xoxo

      1. Cherry Bomb says:

        He deleted the profile on plenty of fish when it happened. I watched Him do it. After the emails, I asked Him to send an email to the lady in question telling her it was done and I even asked Him to tell her something mean. He was willing to say the mean thing so I knew He was serious about sending it so I told Him not to say the mean thing but He sent the rest. I watched that, too.
        When I bring up the emails between Him and this woman, though, He gets mad and defensive. When I ask why, He says it’s because He doesn’t like to think about it because He knows He messed up. When I found out, He told me we need to talk to about things and figure things out but He doesn’t like to talk very much. He’s better at expressing Himself through writing so I bought a notebook but He doesn’t use that very much either. ? It’s hard because I’m a talker and He’s not. When I try to have conversations, He usually says one or two sentences and I’m speaking to what amounts to a brick wall. He’s so articulate with written word, though, He just won’t take the time to do it.
        The thing is, I’m good at reading emotions. I can tell He loves me! But I don’t think He knows very well how to express it. His last relationship was 12 years of nonstop nonsense and I believe she messed Him up big time. He grew up in a gang infested area where to love was to be weak and being weak meant death. I can tell He has a hard time unlearning all of that. I can tell He loves me but He’s self destructive and tries to keep me out because He’s never been able to let somebody in.
        We’ve been together 4 years and things have been way high and way low. That’s the story of my life, actually. I’m not willing to give up, though. I made a commitment about two years ago that I wouldn’t walk away unless I was 100% sure there was nothing for me in this relationship and I still don’t believe that. Even now.
        He grew up thinking that if somebody was nice to you it was because they wanted something. The only thing I want in return is who He really is inside. I don’t think He believes me, though.
        I’m going to tell Him that your Daddy offered to help Him. I hope He’s up to it because I think He could use help from somebody who isn’t me. I’d like to stop helping so much, too, because I always feel like I’m topping from the bottom and I hate feeling like that. You’re so kind to offer. It’s been a rough day. After I read this blog post, I broke down and started blaming myself like crazy. When my Daddy walked in and saw me, He was really concerned until He heard me say the woman’s name. Then we got in a big fight because He doesn’t like talking about it. I really hope my Daddy contacts your Daddy, Princess. It’s 11:11 here and I just wished like crazy that it happens.
        As a side note, Why don’t you capitalize your name and “I”‘s, Princess? I know you capitalize your Daddy’s pronouns so I’m assuming the “i” is a sub thing. I try to remember to capitalize “Daddy” and “He,” too, but my mom has a masters degree in English and impressed proper grammar on us so leaving I’s lowercase drives me nuts. ? Is it a sub thing?

      2. Daddy's princess says:

        Capatalizing His name and using lower case on myself was one of the first protocols Daddy enforced and has stuck ever since!

      3. Daddy Dom says:

        My princess is amazing like that 🙂

      4. Cherry Bomb says:

        It just seems mean. Degrading, I guess. Like he’s saying you’re less than he is. Even if he’s in charge that doesn’t make you less of a person. Proper nouns get capitalized. It seems like he’s telling you you’re not important enough to be a proper noun.

      5. Cherry Bomb says:

        One more thing…
        When we both finally calmed down tonight, He told me there wasn’t a reason really except for that He was being selfish. He told me it felt good to have a woman hitting on Him and wanting Him and He just got greedy. He insisted it wasn’t anything that I did or my fault in anyway. A lifetime of insecurity makes me feel like maybe that’s a lie, and maybe it IS my fault, but I’m really relieved he finally gave me a reason. It’s a dumb reason, but I think it will be a lot easier for me to move forward now that I know why it happened.

  3. Sevven says:

    Great article. My little and I are new to this, and I am trying to learn as quickly as I can. We have been a LDR D/s couple for almost 2 years, but recently she confessed a desire to be a little and for me to be her Daddy… Let me tell you the last week has been a roller coaster ride — lots of fun, but also much to be learned.

    1. Daddy's princess says:

      The beginning is sooooo fun!!! Have fun exploring and trying new things, while You find what is best for Your dynamic! my advice would be to not try and fit into anyone’s mold of what makes the perfect DD/lg relationship. There is no “wrong” way to have Your relationship and the two of you are the only ones who will know what is comfortable to you and what is a hard limit. Take Your time and enjoy the journey! xoxo

  4. Imani says:

    You guys are so helpful. I was literally on the edge of basically “cheating” I.e. looking for some other (non sexual) way of finding a source of attention and “love” because I’m currently not feeling it within our relationship. I felt that he didn’t derserve certain things so I began withholding them. Including my little side. I felt that he didn’t deserve my little side and I was truly about to distance myself. Our relationship is long distance as well and I noticed that I yearn to be dominated more whereas he fails to do so and he’s mentioned before that he doesn’t want to because he loves me to much. I don’t want to push him but I crave a firmer hand in our ddlg dynamic. Help?

  5. emma says:

    Thank you so much for this article. Through this post and some of your others i have realized how my being critical has affected Daddy in a way i didn’t understand before.

    What goes on for me is that growing up i could not depend on anyone. So i developed a lot of self-protective strategies. And in our relationship, whenever He makes a mistake i get scared that He won’t be able to take care of me the way i need. So i protect myself by demanding that He recognize his flaws and fix them immediately. i am very hard on him. In the end He usually says i am “right” about whatever i was saying, but by that time something has been damaged–His ability to feel safe to make mistakes and still be respected and looked up to. Over time He gets very discouraged and wants to quit, saying He will never be enough for me (which makes me more afraid and more critical). But overall He loves me so much and i know He is committed and wants to take care of me, and i want to make Him happy. We just need to get out of this destructive cycle and into a positive cycle. The idea that He needs respect even if He doesn’t “deserve” it makes so much sense (after i wrapped my head around it), because i know how much i need love when i don’t “deserve” it. Deserving doesn’t even make sense when it comes to love, i need it, always and forever and all the time no matter what. i can’t imagine anyone not deserving love, that is an awful thought. So, understanding that He needs respect in that huge, all-the-time, unconditional way is a huge awakening for me and i think will help us a lot. Thank you so much.

    BTW i love the design of your blog, it is so pretty!!

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