What is missing in a lot of relationships today? Validation. Both partners need to validate the other. Not want, but actual true need for it. With both the Daddy and the little filling the needs of the other, true happiness and stability begins to form. Moods begin to improve. The promise of fidelity becomes stronger, and self esteem begins to grow. Love and respect begin to root into your foundation, as the fuel to ignite that lasting “in love” feeling. When your “tank” is being filled by the person you truly desire, there is never a need to seek it out anywhere else.
Whether little, submissive, slave, or vanilla; almost every girl i have ever spoken with seeks validation from their partner. It is as if we were programmed to seek out approval, before feeling “good enough”. If that need is not filled, they look for it in other people, and in other ways. Maybe she seeks validation in her friends, when her man isn’t giving it to her. Maybe she seeks it out in a co-worker, through “innocent” flirtation. Whatever the case may be, i can almost guarantee she has already been seeking it in the place she truly desires most; but perhaps, has grown tired and worn down from constant neglect. Bottom line, a girl wants to hear that she is beautiful, wanted, needed, intelligent, and loved.
This is even more true for a little. If a Daddy is failing to validate His princess, she will feel less and less important to Him, and will look for it in other ways. One way is acting out, and hoping to get any form of attention. Another could simply be catching another man’s eyes in the grocery store, just to feel beautiful and desired (even if just for a moment). It is important to note that this is NOT an excuse for cheating; but ask yourself how cheating typically starts. One person in the relationship is missing something that the other person is not giving them. Whether it be validation, respect, love, kindness, sex, etc. Then, over time with their needs being ignored, someone outside of the relationship fills the need. It can be as simple as another person taking the time to listen to you, or say kind words of encouragement. When you are starved for that attention and find a source, you seek more and more from that source. Then next thing you know, you are having an affair. Once again, being neglected is not an excuse for an affair; but it is a warning sign that your relationship needs help.
Men need validation just as much as women. Often, they seek it not just from their partner, but their ability to succeed. Daddies need validation from Their littles. A Daddy craves her respect and approval. He wants to know that He is good enough, and doing a good job as her Daddy. He worries, more than you probably know, about being enough for you and being able to fill your needs. When He hears words of encouragement and respect, He gets pumped up and ready to take on the world. Without it, He is left trying to navigate without knowing if He is even headed in the right direction. Fearing that a single mistake will push you away, and He lose you forever.
When you are in a Daddy Dom/little relationship it is easy to fall into the idea that the Daddy does all of the work, and it is on Him to make everything “okay”. While that concept is true in many parts of the relationship, it is not true in the fact that it takes a little to make a Daddy, and a Daddy to make a little. Without the power dynamic in place, it is simply a vanilla relationship. The Daddy needs His little to validate Him, show Him respect, say words of encouragement, be there for Him sexually, and fill His basic needs. The little needs her Daddy to validate her, show her love, say words of encouragement, be there for her emotionally, and fill her basic needs.
The little is to give respect, even when He does not deserve it. The same way a Daddy is to give His little love, even when she does not deserve it. Everyone has off days, and will mess up; sometimes in little ways, but sometimes in very big ways. Those mistakes do not make them less-worthy of love or respect. If anything, it is during those times that they need it the most. Having that grace will encourage them to try harder and be better; far more than being disrespected or unloved. How motivating is it to try to be a better partner, when the other person is critiquing everything you do and “punishing” you for it? By punish i mean yelling, belittling, ignoring, helicopter correcting, etc. This is not talking about a Daddy punishing His little for misbehaving, which is a loving act. This is more for those who yell at a partner for taking the wrong turn when driving, or withhold sex for as a way of communicating hurt feelings, and so on.
We have written several articles that will be coming out over this next week that will help give you ideas and ways to lift your partner up, instead of kicking them when they are down. Ways to show them validation, love, and respect; even when they do not deserve it. As the articles come out, I will link to them in the list below:
- 10 Things Every little Needs to Stop Doing
- 10 Things Every Daddy Needs to Stop Doing
- 20 Simple “Protocols” to Enforce in Order to Keep the DD/lg Dynamic Strong
- 50 Things a Daddy Dom Should Never Say to His little
- 20 Ways to Show Respect to your Daddy Dom When He Doesn’t Deserve It
What do you feel is missing in relationships today?? Please feel free to leave your comments and opinions below! We love hearing what you all have to say! xoxo